Thanksgiving

Yeah , let's celebrate. The first Thanksgiving was a 3 day feast. I like that part and think it's a tradition worth keeping. Never mind my waistline needs a 3 day fast. Time to pig out. Oh I'm going all out, cheap crabmeat dip and cheese tonight. Ham ( I don't like turkey, never have and I don't want a shitload of dry meat leftover that you have to put 1/2 a pound of mayo on just to choke it down. We usually have a goose but only Dave and I will eat it and at $70. no thanks)

So ham it is. Sweet potato casserole(which is a kickass dish compliments of Margot. I broke tradition this year by not losing the recipe and having to call her to get it.) greenbean casserole, corn, stuffing, you can still have stuffing with out the turkey you know, those big flaky rolls, cranberry sauce, pink pudding (this is what my grandmother called it-just cherry jello, crushed pineapple, and whipped cream) That's it of my cooking.

Dave will make a gravy, lefses and apple pie. Yep my hubby is great in the kitchen, he was also pretty great in the..........oh sorry wrong subject....

Then just to make it authentic ,if anyone drops cookies off , or a bottle of wine or anything, lets see if we can get them evicted from their home. Well why not? Its what the Indians got right.

It's tradition. You bring us a little holiday cheer , we fuck you over. Americans, nice people...

Then we must think about what we're grateful for and "give thanks" . Ohhh imaginary being thank you for not fucking me over the way you did Bob at work. You must not like him much do you God. But hey, thanks for liking me.... Wait! Is that our savior's face in the pie? Oh great flying spaghetti monster....I am so grateful for all this crap I charged and can't afford this year.

Then it's football time. Gee my favorite. I keep telling my husband the only way football would be worth watching is if they play naked and to the death. I'd tune in for that! Yeah, now that would be good entertainment...But nooo...oh no.... unnecessary roughness...waaahhh...the whole fucking game is unnecessary roughness..But they HAVE to watch it . They don't though, they watch a few minutes and then they're out like a light, snoring and drooling Thanksgiving dinner all over the sofas of America. Naked and to the death I say!

I gotta go buy some beer...........